Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Things No One Ever Told You...

... About Being Pregnant

All of you lurkers... it's time to DELURK long enough to answer this question! Let me know what you discovered from being pregnant that no one ever told you about or that you never read about!!!

Example ... yeah, they said I'd have pelvic pain, but they didn't say it would cause my hips to slide out of place, and that it would hurt so much! (and just for the record... a pillow between the legs DOES NOT HELP!)

Monday, August 29, 2005

Not so Internet or Tech savvy

As you can see... I'm not so internet or technology savvy. I can't figure out for the life of me how to block unwanted comments from totally irrelevant people... I mean really ... what the heck is forex trade signal, and why do I care? And, why, pray tell... would I need to visit a treadmill doctor? I'm 33 weeks pregnant, for the love of God... why do you think I would be even stepping one foot near a treadmill right now? And DEPRESSION TREATMENT? Yeah... I've got some depression treatment for you RIGHT HERE... Good Lord. If anyone knows how I can block these unwanted comments, please let me know!


Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Beginnings of "A Plan" ??? Maybe...

Oh, my goodness... I'm glad I'm sitting down. Or was... when I got the news. Here it goes:

1) In the last two weeks I've lost 6 pounds. SIX! Added to the previous 3 I lost, that makes... let me see ... NINE POUNDS!!! That means, I have a net gain of 2.5 pounds since I got pregnant. Oh, so svelte! So sexy! Yeah, RIGHT. You should see the basketball protruding from my belly!

2) I am still having a big baby, chubby. Round. Ow.

3) I will likely have a scheduled c-section. Cool. I can deal with that. The 'knowing' was important to me.

4) I will go for my scheduled c-section around 38-ish weeks. I'm guessing so that the baby won't be too big? So, I'm now wondering just how big this child might get? Hmmm... Also, does this mean we get to choose the date? Hey, that could actually be fun!

I think this looks like a plan - sort of! If not, humor me. I needed this.

On another note... we had a friend visiting from Kentucky last weekend. He was kind enough to bring his hillbilly cooties with him, and share them with my husband. Who, in turn, shared them with me. THE NERVE!!! I love my husband dearly, but really ... he doesn't have to share EVERYTHING, you know what I mean?

So now, I'm suffering from a yucky head/chest cold. I may have mentioned this before, but I'm pregnant, and feel like whining. I am finding it incredibly difficult to BREATH... and that's just a bit important to me right now. What, with a big belly, stuffy nose, congested chest, and squirming tadpole ... laying down to go to sleep is near impossible. I wake up gasping for air, and feeling like I'm suffocating. Not a fun experience. I'm knocking back Robitussin, Tylenol and Sudafed... don't worry, my OB okayed this. At least I'm no longer feverish. That's a plus, right? Did I mention that the inability to freely breath can cause one to SNORE?! Loudly? (more like snorting) Uh, yeah... woke myself up doing just that, too!

I know what you're thinking... my husband is sooo lucky to have such an incredibly HOT and sexy wife in bed next to him... big belly, gasping for air, snoring and snorting, rolling around on top of pillows while clearing my throat and coughing, all the while, gently (of course) whining and complaining. What can I say. Some men just have all the luck, you know what I mean?

Finally ... a big thank you to the post from daysgoby..... it sounds like wise advice. I'll take a pair of maternity pants that I wore early on in the pregnancy. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (I'm not sure why, but all my posts come up with noreply-comment@blogger.com as the email address, so I can never email anyone to thank them personally --- dunno why -- not that internet smart or savy).

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I can't believe I forgot to share this!!!

I am so forgetful it's not even funny! First of all, I have two excuses. 1) I'm pregnant... 2) I had a nasty head/chest cold over the weekend, and I'm just now getting over it. So, as you can see from my last post, vanity is much closer to my heart than what I'm about to share. For shame, for shame. I am most embarrassed!

Any way, several things to update on... we received our dresser the same day we ordered our crib. We didn't open it until this past weekend, and much to my broken heart's dismay, two of the MAIN pieces were cracked and chipped. So, I placed a call in to the manufacturer, and of course... the parts are on back order, and they are not sure when they will be coming in. Yeah ... I cried my eyes out for a good hour.

Next, the crib we ordered 10 days ago ARRIVED over the weekend!!! WAHOOO!!! The anxiety they caused by telling us it would take 8-12 weeks for delivery... so unnecessary! We'll be putting it together this weekend, but with my luck, something is probably broken or chipped, and the replacement parts will be on back order. Okay, so I'm a pessimist... let's hope for the best.

Finally, and I'm very, very excited about this... we decided to look into closet systems for the baby's closet. Hopefully in the next two weeks, we'll have something in place. Can't wait!

That's all for now.

Yeah, I'm a materialistic kind of gal. I know.

I see the OB tonight, so I'll post next on health issues.

I'm so vain!

You know, I've been losing weight since I started watching my sugars and carbs and taking insulin. That's all good and well, but it leaves me wondering ... How do you figure out what to take to the hospital to wear home? I'm not looking to be a fashion plate model or anything... well, okay, so I want to look nice for the going home pictures... wouldn't you?

My DH said ... "take some sweat pants or something." Well, even though I'm loosing weight, I'm still not "small" by any stretch of the imagination, and sweat pants... well ... let's just not go there.

I see my OB this afternoon, and I'll find out for sure (from his nazi nurse) just how much more weight I've lost or gained in the past two weeks, but all-in-all, I'd have to say that I have only netted a 5 pound weight gain... so far! Sounds like a nice problem... and trust me, I'm just ecstatic to be loosing safely, and not gaining. After all, there is still plenty of cushion for the babe. No need to worry.

But, because I'm somewhat of a hysterical planner... as in ... I ALWAYS pack my bags a week or two before going on vacation, and ALWAYS include a "menu" of what I'll wear each day, along with a detailed inventory of what I packed... I can honestly admit that I've already started planning my bag that I'm taking to the hospital. No, not clothing... at least not yet, because I'm limited on what I can wear right now, but I've got all my toiletries, etc. waiting in their little cosmetic bag, and I've got a revolving list of things still to get/pack. Call me obsessive/compulsive. Whatever! (just know it's true!)

So, if you were in my shoes, would you pack a pair of pants that were maternity pants, and run the risk that they'll fall off, pack a pair of pre-pregnancy pants and run the risk that while you may weigh about the same, your weight has shifted and may not fit in the pants?? Pack a mumu (NEVER, in a gazillion years, do you hear me?!?)

What do I do?

At least I have another 8-ish weeks to agonize over this...

Any and all advice is welcome at this point.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Things I can't wait for...

1. Seeing my toes again.
2. Sleeping pretty much through the night without getting up every 45 min to pee.
3. Chocolate Cake and Milk
4. Rolling over in bed with ease
5. No drooling at night
6. Chocolate Cake and Milk
7. Not having to test my blood sugar 4 times a day
8. Not having to count carbs
9. Chocolate Cake and Milk
10. Fitting into regular shoes
11. Holding my newborn child
12. Did I mention Chocolate Cake and Milk?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

So, yeah ... I'm scared ... what of it?

I must confess. I'm a big baby. No pain tolerance whatsoever, and I fear everything that might go wrong.

Having said that, I have to say that I feel almost guilty for wanting a hospital delivery, with my OB, plenty of pain meds, and if possible, I'd like to elect to have a c-section. I know, I know. You don't hear that much. But I'm cooking a big punkin in here, and I'm afraid of delivery. In fact, if it was at all possible, I'd rather be knocked completely out, and woken up after the baby arrives.

So, you're probably thinking... "what kind of mother will she make?" Well, hopefully, the very best I can be. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm scared, I hate pain, and I could never, EVER deliver without something to take the pain away. Or at least the promise of something that will come pretty darn close. In fact, I'm thinking that all the surgeries, procedures, and needle poking-prodding I've had up till now, wont even come CLOSE to the pain I'll experience in labor and delivery. Okay... I've scared myself all over again.

I really admire the women that elect to have a completely natural birth, whether it's at the hospital, or at home, in a pool, or in a bed. I wish I was that strong. Really, I do. And I hate hearing my peppy "the glass is half full" husband say, "honey, hundreds of women give birth every day, and if they can do it, so can you." What does he know? Evidently, he doesn't know my threshold of pain... and folks, it's low. Very low. Actually, he does, but he thinks that playing cheerleader will help. It doesn't.

So I've been walking around basically afraid of sharing my view points on labor and delivery, because I'm afraid of becoming an outcast ... or looked upon as a freak. But in reality, I'm finding so many women thinking the exact same sentiment when they are asked to share their feelings on natural births, doulas, midwives, etc. I am shocked! I shouldn't be, but I am! I thought I was in the minority, but it appears that many more women have the same fear of judgment as I do.

So for what it's worth, I'm jealous that I can't be as strong as my fellow sisters delivering children under water, or just laboring in water and delivering without pain meds, having babies at home, and/or birthing centers, and placing all their faith in midwives.

I, on the other hand, will rely totally on my OB (who did save my life on the operating table after an emergency surgery...so I have total faith in the man). I will ask for anything to mask the pain. And, I will beg for a c-section... Why, you might ask? Well, allow me to share my reasons:

First of all, as I said earlier, I'm going to have a big baby. BIG. And I just shake in horror at the thought of this child's huge head coming out from, well ... "down there." Let alone it's shoulders. Oh, my!

Next, I have a slightly enlarged heart (mild cardiomyopathy), and I again... am afraid of the complications that may come on, or the stress that having a vaginal delivery and pushing may bring on.

Now... moving on to my three bulging discs and degenerative disc disease -- Basically... I'm afraid of getting nerve damage from the epidural, and/or further damage from pushing, and from the general pressure in that area that would come with delivering an almost 10 pound baby.

Then, there's always the already positive group b-strep test I have had way back in my 12th week when I had a bad bladder infection. Ah, yes.. GBS. So, knowing ahead of time that I have tested positive for, and am colonized (meaning I am a carrier) with group B-strep is rather unnerving, in itself... not for me, but for the baby, and the risks that the baby is exposed to.

Of course, I also have Gestational Diabetes, but I don't think this will bother the labor and delivery part much.

Finally, I have Pubic symphysis separation ... it hurts. A lot. Especially when I'm lying down, or trying to walk after sitting for a while ... so while I don't know how this will play into delivery, I can only imagine that it might just hurt ... a little ... who knows. Also, because my pelvis has started to move and loosen, my hips keep sliding out of location. Really nice. Feels just great.

As you can see, I have many things mounting up against me, causing a lot of fear of labor and delivery to build up. Not to mention, things that may stress the baby. Of course, my ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby, sit just brings a certain level of comfort to me that there is an incredible nic unit in my hospital of choice, excellent doctors and nurses, top notch monitors, bells and whistles, and medicine and pain killers that would be readily available, which, of course, are not as readily available in my own home.

As with everything, I am trying to prepare myself and know all the different scenarios I can possibly expect to happen, but I'm not going in thinking that I'll have an easy time of it. No, I just wouldn't be that lucky.

Along these lines... you know what really irritates me? Is that everyone feels they have the "right" (women and men) to give me their two cents about c-sections. As if I didn't know that having a c-section would be painful. As if I didn't know having a c-section would require a longer healing time. As if I didn't know the risks that having a c-sections presents to both me and the baby. As if having or wanting a c-section was the most absolute worst thing ever, placing me right at the top of the bad mother list.

First of all, if you're a man, and you've never had a c-section, or delivered a 10 pound child, then... you can just ZIP it. Second of all, no one, and I mean no-one, could possibly know what's best for me and my child with the exception of ... uh ... oh, yeah ... ME. And my OB. And my husband. So I'm thinking that your unwanted and unsolicited advice is just going to fall of deaf ears ... so again ... you can just ZIP it. I mean, really... c'mon ... do you think I WANT more pain than what is necessary? (read first paragraph again) If I did, I could just beg the hemorrhoid fairy to come and visit me on a regular basis.

Are you sensing my frustrations?

Monday, August 15, 2005

I just LOVE desserts!

Have I ever mentioned how much I love desserts? Have I?

Well, I do. And it would seem that I'm not the only one. In fact, chocolate is my favorite, but ... Ohhhh ... it's such a sore spot, but I have found heaven -- H-E-A-V-E-N, do you hear me?!?

For those of us that have GD, and are craving chocolate... I have found two things that have turned out to be pretty good, are allowable, and somewhat take care of the immediate craving problem...

1) LOW CARB (sugarless) York Peppermint Patties, and MAN ... are they good! Of course, they have carbs, but a whole lot less, and they are so nice to have one (ehh, maybe two) for a snack and experience the whole satisfying chocolate high! (sugarless lifesavers are great, too) There are, of course, other sugarless chocolates, but I haven't gotten around to them yet. I'm pretty satisfied with the Pep patties for now!

2) Sugarfree pudding-moussie thing... Okay... I was sitting around CRAVING chocolate and I just happened to look in my pantry for something that might take the craving away. I happened to stumble across a large box of sugarfree instant chocolate pudding. Now, if you've ever tasted sugarfree instant chocolate pudding, it can be pretty yucky. But... I also had a container of cool whip in the refrigerator. Now... according to the packaging, Cool Whip REGULAR only has 2 grams of carbs for 2 tablespoons (believe it or not, the light and free cool whip have more!). TWO! So, I made the pudding according to package directions, let it set up, added a bunch of cool whip to make it like a mousse (sort of), let it set up again, and man, was it good!

To top things off (yes, life is starting to look better in the GD area), Cool Whip website has a TON of sugarless or low carb desserts that look yummy! And, they have a link for Healthy Living that has another link with recipes just for diabetics, as well as low cal deserts!

So basically, I'm loving Kraft right now! I'm off to make Creamy Layered Squares (with sugarless watermelon jello... if I can find it!) Here's the website for your dessert gratification: http://www.kraftfoods.com/coolwhip/cw_under100.html (also, don't forget to check the Healthy Living button for tons of other recipes, and a link just for diabetics!)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Mr. Hush-Hush

So, yeah ... my doctor is Mr. Hush-Hush. He wouldn't commit to ANYTHING ... the only thing he would say was... "well, it's a possibility that with your heart condition, the chances of a c-section are greater."

Gee. Thanks. That's not what a type-A planner-personality wants to hear. I need details! Plans! Dates! Promises! Ugh. My blood pressure was up a bit (135/80), but I had lost 3 pounds. Amazing what starvation on a low carb diet will do!

Any way... I am feeling like the nursery is finally coming together. Our eBay dresser arrived yesterday (that was fast)... of course it's still in the box, and won't be touched for a few days, to say the least. But it's going to have to be taken upstairs to the nursery, so at least I can open the box and see what it "looks like" in pieces.

We also selected a crib...FINALLY...and my inlaws purchased it for us. $525!!! I almost choked. It will be here in about 8-12 weeks, possibly sooner. Well, the baby will be here in 10 1/2 weeks, so I'm hoping for sooner. This is the crib we finally selected (in white) http://www.bergfurniture.com/forest.html .

Now... we need to get a digital camera so we can take pictures of everything.

Also, today, my department gave me a surprise shower. It was so nice of them. They gave me some onesies, bibs, a receiving blanket with matching bib, some toys, rattles, and the Baby Einstein Discover and Play Exersaucer that I had registered for. I'm getting excited little by little, cause it's all coming together!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Quick Update

Just a quick update... My parents left on Sunday, my house is sparkling clean, I bid on a dresser on eBay and won, it's arriving tomorrow, I have a beautiful bassinet, I'm shopping for a crib on Saturday, and I see body parts moving around in my belly!

So basically, life is good, I'm in good spirits, and I see my OB today. I hope we discuss the pari-partum cardiomyopathy, the big baby, and delivery. I need a game plan. What can I say --Type-A personality!

The only other thing is that the low carb diet for the gestational diabetes is K.I.L.L.I.N.G. me. I'm a bit hungrier now... okay, I'm hungry all the time, and I need carbs to fill me up! Also, throughout my entire pregnancy, I have not had any cakes, cookies, chocolate, etc. because up until about 2 months ago, it just made me sick to my stomach to even think about such things. Not the case now! Last night I was craving... CRAVING, I tell you, a huge, gigantic slab of triple fudge chocolate cake with a 30 ounce glass of skim milk on the rocks to wash it down. But noooo... can't have it! Gotta hold off until after the baby arrives. Darn! This is tough!

Also, my girlfriend is planning a baby shower for me here at work. She's awesome. She's putting so much energy and money into this ... I feel guilty, and I've asked her to be conservative, but she says she's not doing more than she can afford or wants to do, so I've got to let her go. She's so much like me! The shower is on Monday, 8/22... I just can't believe this is happening already! My sister and sister-in-law are throwing another shower for me and all my friends and family on 9/17, and then my aunts (my mother's side) are having a smaller "aunt's shower" for me on 9/18. I'm getting a wee bit overwhelmed by everyone's goodness! I am such a lucky girl.

So, anyway... That's all for now. I'll update tomorrow with news from the OB.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

All my Woes rolled up in one...

Just to recap...

In my second trimester -- my doctor told me I tested positive for type-B strep. He said I was colonized. Great. Evidently, you can become colonized from surgical procedures (3 IUI's, 2 IVF's ... all considered surgical procedures).

Then, at the beginning of the week, the Perinatologist said that this baby is going to definitely be 9 pounds, but most likely 9.5 pounds, and possibly closer to 10 pounds. So basically... a toddler.

Last week, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and began taking insulin injections twice a day. Since then, my insulin dosage has been raised once.

Then, yesterday, I saw my cardiologist. She said that the heart sonogram I had last week showed that I have an enlarged heart, and that it is beating rather sluggishly -- in other words -- cardiomyopathy. She's not sure if it was pregnancy induced (pari-partum cardiomyopathy) or if it was enlarged all along, but the pregnancy brought out the symptoms I've been experiencing (racing and irregular heart beat), which enabled them to diagnose it.

So life is just great ... I'm feeling so swell and on top of the world right now. NOT!!

Let's see if we can sum it all up ... Colonized Type B Strep, Big-Huge-Gigantic child, Gestational Diabetes with insulin, Cardiomyopathy, irregular heart beat, and old age (38)... This should all make for an interesting labor and delivery.

In the mean time, I'm trying really, REALLY hard not to get too down or depressed. Really. I am. But all I want to do right now is leave work early, and crawl into bed and sleep. And sleep, and sleep.

Oh, and I also want to see my feet when I look down, but that's not happening for at least another two months.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

It's a Gorilla, Folks!

I saw my Perinatologist yesterday and had a lovely sonogram. We saw the face, and guess what? It really looked like a babies face! So adorable, rounded cheeks, eyes, mouth, and MY nose (whew!) ... the doctor said she even saw HAIR starting to grow! Amazing. I was all teary eyed. Then ... well, then she dropped the bomb on us. Yes, ladies and gentlemen... I'm going to have a gargantuan child. I was totally SHOCKED!

I'm only 29 weeks pregnant (beginning of 29th week), and the baby is measuring 3 weeks ahead, and weighing in at 3 pounds. The doctor graphed out the babies weight, and it measures at the TOP of the graph. She also said that she knows it will be at least 9 pounds, but closer to 9.5 or 10 pounds. Yikes! My sister had a 9 lb 15 oz child (no epidural, either... natural -- is she insane or what?!?), and her other three kids came in at over 9 lbs, 7.5 lbs (known as "tiny baby"), and again over 9 lbs. I say, it's all her fault, but the doctor said that the size of the baby runs on the mother's side. Greaaat! Just what I wanted to hear.

Here is a web site that has a sample graph http://www.gestation.net/fetal_growth/growscreenshots.htm ... just so you can understand what I'm explaining above.

So for now, I'm just going to begin processing the thought that my child will be as large as a gorilla, and that I'll probably have a c-section for sure ... I just can't imagine pushing out such a big babe!

And to all of you out there that tell me ... EACH TIME YOU SEE ME ... "man! that's going to be a big baby!" Thanks... a lot... You have cursed me. Just remember... what goes around, comes around. He He He!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Holy Cow... I'm starting to FREAK OUT!

To put it mildly... I'm starting to FREAK OUT! I just started my 29th week ... that leaves only 11 weeks (if all goes accordingly). ELEVEN WEEKS. I do not have a crib yet. I do not have a dresser yet. I do not have a car seat yet. I DO have a bassinet, however, which goes a long way in calming me.

Selecting a crib and dresser combo has been the hardest thing I've had to do in the last -- well -- in the last 29 weeks.

I decided to get a long dresser and also use it as a changing table. That way, the baby can continue using it as it grows up. Yeah... I also put a limit on how much to spend because someone else is getting it for us as a gift. So... $300-ish for a white dresser. That's what I'm willing to spend. Do you know how difficult it is to find one that's the right "white" and the right height for $300 and not $800?????!!!!!????? Why in heaven's name would someone charge $800 for a dresser for a nursery? That's highway robbery!

As for the crib--- this has been a hard thing to decide on. I think I've finally narrowed it down (after having driven my husband nearly insane over this). You see, you have so many choices. White cribs, cherry cribs, oak cribs, pine cribs, mahogany cribs, painted cribs. Cheap cribs, expensive cribs, stationary cribs, convertible cribs, 3-in-1 cribs. Square cribs, sleigh cribs, round cribs. Cribs that fly or cribs that drive. Goodness. Where does one begin?

The crib is also being purchased for us as a gift by someone different. So again... I feel the need to be a bit miserly when it comes to the budget. But then again, I would be even if it was me buying the crib. At first, I was all set on purchasing a 3-in-1 crib so that it can go through the baby's life with him/her. But then, I decided to just get a cheap crib, because we hope to be pregnant again by the time this one is ready for a toddler bed. In which, we'll toss it in a single bed with rails. And since, of course, my life has gone so close to PLAN (NOT!)... any way...

I think I've narrowed down my decisions, though. The crib is cheaper than I thought, and the dresser a bit more than I thought, but it's such a cute set. It's the Bassett Baby Cottage White Collection. Target carries it. It's a cute sleigh style crib with beadboard trim on the ends, with a matching little dresser. The dresser is about 10" smaller than I had hoped for, and also $100 more than I had hoped for, but all in all... I think it will work out just fine. Since I haven't really learned how to do links yet, I'll just provide the address for Bassett Baby (or you can go to Target to check it out). http://www.bassettbaby.com/?act=catalog.product.list&styleid=5&collectionid=5&dealertypeid=3

I'm also going to check the second hand stores around town for a dresser I can paint white. But ... Regardless of whether I get this dresser, or not... I think I'll still get the crib. So cute.

I think. I'll feel better once everything is ordered. And to top things off... it usually takes 12 weeks for delivery. Yay! Another source of stress for me.

I'm not usually a procrastinator like this, but I am awful when it comes to making decisions when I have too many choices. For instance... restaurants... I NEVER want to make the choice as to where we'll eat. There are just too many choices! Also, I hate chaos. I will not... absolutely refuse... to step foot into the local dollar stores. I just can't stand the disorder. I can't even think in those stores! It gives me that "willy" feeling, and I just have to turn around and RUN out of the store. Chaos has no place in this world! It throws me for a loop! I need order. And, I need to know what I'm going for, run into what ever store has it, and run back out. I hate shopping. I know... a woman that hates to shop ... but I do.

Except for when it comes to Target. I love to shop in Target. Not sure why, but that's a whole other story.

Hey... it's my sob story, and I can have exceptions, ya know?!?

So here's to making a decision on a crib and dresser.

But I'm not ordering it yet. Did I mention we're going to Buy Buy Baby this week? I might see something else I like and change my mind. Ugh! What can I say?!