Thursday, May 26, 2005

A final word about WORRY... and other stuff

Okay ... after fretting with my last post, and being frightened about what may or may not be... and after sharing it with my parents, who are visiting from NC, here's what my mom reminded me ... Matt. 6:34 -- "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I'm just going to have to force my type-A personality to not stress over things that aren't occurring today.

'Nuff said 'bout that!

On to other things.... the murals in the nursery are done, and look just beautiful! I keep walking in there and just staring at the walls. I just can't believe that we're really having a baby! After waiting and trying for all these years, I don't even know how to act!

In fact, I was at Walmart today, and I walked down the baby section, and just stared, and stared at all the baby stuff, touching all the soft stuff, and staring at all the cool colors!

We've decided to go with a Granny Smith green and white polka dot crib skirt, green and white gingham and polka dot and metelase fabrics on the bumper, and black and white infant toile with black and white gingham, and lime green tassel trim for the window treatments.

I'm very excited.

Tomorrow is our 20 week sonogram. Can't wait!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Change Is-A-Comin'!

Okay ... nooooow I'm scared.

I'm scared of the change we'll have once the baby is born. There... I said it.

I haven't really shared this with anyone yet, but while I'm so thankful and appreciative that I'm finally carrying a successful pregnancy, I'm scared to death of how it's going to C.H.A.N.G.E. my/our life!

I'll be 38 when the baby is born, and I'm so stuck in my ways, used to sleeping in, and actually sleeping through the night (when DH isn't snoring with every breath that escapes his nose!)... I'm even well accustomed to un-interrupted 5 minute showers, and private bathroom breaks!

I guess I've been living a fantasy life thinking that once the baby comes, it will all be roses and smiles, giggles and gurgles. Oh yeah, and getting a full 8 hours sleep at night.

After reading several other people's blogs that are new moms, and hearing all the stuff they battle with... waking up every 2-3 hrs for feedings, reflux, endless crying, no free time to take a long shower (or even dry your hair) ... how in the world does one prepare for this?

Yeah ... so now... I'm scared. Great!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Seafood while pregnant... Not a good thing!

Well, I'm sure most pregnant women already know this, and it would have been nice had someone shared this tidbit with me, but ... I have found (through hard life lessons) that it is best to stay away from seafood while pregnant. Why, you may ask??? Well, last night, after consuming 1/2 pound of Snow Crab legs, and 1/2 pound of steamed, spiced shrimp, I proceeded to stay awake all night going back and forth from dying of THIRST, and running to the bathroom to get rid of all the water I was consuming. Now I'm exhausted, and most likely, dehydrated, and have to sit at my desk at work looking like I'm hard at work when really, I'm hardly working.

Needless to say, I will be avoiding snow crab legs in the very near future.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Butt Paste

Okay... so I haven't posted in a while... but it's been busy at my house, and I work full time, and I've been entertaining out of town guests, and ... well ... let's just face it ... I don't have a good enough excuse. I've just been plain lazy. All those other things are true, but I could have found a moment to post. After all ... I have certainly found a moment to read all my favorite blog spots!

So, here's what I read in one of my blog spots, and I just have to know... does this really work?

"... about Mylanta for diaper rash: We used a similar, but more involved, concoction our pediatrician called "Butt Paste" (can't wait to see the Google hits you get for that). It's equal parts Maalox, A&D ointment, Cortaid and Lotrimin AF. The combination works as follows: Maalox to neutralize acid, Lotrimin AF to beat that nasty "yeasty" rash; Cortaid to heal broken skin; A&D to create a barrier to moisture (which aggravates the skin and promotes yeasty rash)."

How am I ever going to remember that recipe??? Any way, I just thought it was interesting. the very name... Butt Paste ... well, that was all I needed to see. If it has such an interesting name, than certainly it must be good stuff, right?

Since May 12, I've had house guests. My dear friend from California came and stayed with us for 6 days. Then two days later (yesterday), my parents came in from North Carolina for a 10 day visit. So, I've practically killed myself cleaning, washing linens, and pretty much nagging my husband to do this, or do that. Man! I'm pooped!!!

I had a great time with my friend, but I'm glad my mom and dad are here. My mom helps out with everything. Actually, she won't let me do anything. In fact, she won't even let me stand in the kitchen while she's cooking. I love my mom!!! She remembers what it was like to be 18 weeks pregnant, and have swollen feet.

Any way, we are starting to work on the Nursery this week. My DH started painting the room a light buttery yellow, and then my mom, who is an artist, is going to paint murals in the room. Very light and whimsical. I just can't wait. I don't have a digital camera yet, but when I get one, I'll be sure to post pictures!!!

Monday, May 09, 2005

Mother's Day

Yesterday was mother's day, and with it came a swirl of emotions. I woke up feeling weepy and sorry for my self. After my shower, I tried to put on the dress I had laid out for church, only to find that it didn't fit any more. SOB! My husband was at the store getting "stuff" (a corsage for his mom, and a widowed friend of ours at church). By the time he got back home, I was a ball of tears, crying out... "I'm a cow... I don't look good in anything. I'm huge. Pregnant women are supposed to be cute, but I'm a cow!" He looked a bit scared, but he handled it like a champ.

So, I waited patiently for him to give me "my" corsage, or a card, or SOMETHING. But he didn't. So in the car, on the way to the gas station, I started to cry again. He reached for my hand and asked what was wrong. Crying even harder, I said "I'm a cow, and this is the first year you didn't buy me a corsage" (each year he buys me a corsage for mother's day because I've had 4 miscarriages, and he says that even though they aren't here for us to love, I'm still the mother of his children... sigh...he's wonderful). He looked at me and frantically said, "but I DID get you a corsage, I even got you a card!" I just sobbed a bit more, and said, "oh. okay."

So that's how mother's day morning started off.

He gave me a pretty corsage once we got to church, gave me a big hug, and a huge kiss, and wished me a happy mother's day, then went in to deliver the other corsages. Yeah, I felt silly, but I still felt like a cow.

Several people (except my MIL and FIL) wished me a happy mother's day, hugged me, cried over me, and just made me feel so special.

My DH took me through fast food for lunch, because we were planning on going out to dinner in the evening with his family (see next paragraph), but once we got home, I was able to lounge and do nothing, and take a nice long nap. Ahhh... it was lovely. And, my gift from my husband was a ton of flowers for my garden, and the promise to plant them for me, since I can't do much of anything now.

Unfortunately, Mother's Day this year also shared the same date as my Mother in-law and Father in-law's 40th wedding anniversary. We went out for dinner later in the evening, nothing more was said about mother's day... meaning that they never wished me a happy mother's day, or gave me a card, or anything (I know, I know... I'm being selfish, but they just lavished their own daughter while she was pregnant during mother's day, and after 15 years ... well, I just feel like I deserve it). The whole meal concentrated on their anniversary gift (a romantic weekend away, a buggy ride, and tickets to a show -- we are good children, after all), and on them, them, them. I guess after 40 years, they deserve it!

The day before, however, we had a lovely mother's day luncheon at our church, and the men, my DH included, waited on us hand and foot. It was so nice.

All in all... this has been the best Mother's Day in 15 sad long years!

P.S. --- I really have SUCH a wonderful husband. I love him to death!

Thursday, May 05, 2005


So much has happened this past week. Where do I even begin???
(WARNING: This will be a L--O--N--G post)

On Saturday, I got the brilliant idea to begin a long overdue spring cleaning of my house. Okay, it was really just a long overdue cleaning... but hey! I've been pretty wiped out the first three months of this pregnancy, and it was all I could do to come home from work and fall out on the couch. Who cared about cleaning!!!

Well, now I have a bit more energy... and some motivation. I have my dear friend from CA coming to visit on the 12th, and then my parents are arriving on the 19th. So, with that in mind... I started to pull everything out of all the closest and tried to organize stuff. I'm feeling a bit panicked that I MUST be organized before the babe is born, because I have a feeling I just won't have time after he or she arrives!

Any way... I hauled a bunch of stuff out into the hall for my DH to take down to the basement for storage (yeah... it's still sitting right where I left it). I must have done about 10 loads of laundry, because I stripped and washed all the linens from ALL the beds in the house (that would be 3 queen size beds). Sheets, blankets, comforters, etc. I gathered two lawn & leaf trash bags full of crap to be thrown out. I folded laundry that I had done several days ago. I re-organized my husband's armoire (not that he noticed, or even cares!). I went through all my DH's clothes and pulled all the things that are too small for him, and started a pile on the love seat in my bedroom. Right next to the 5-foot pile of my own pre-maternity clothes. I made 4 trips to the basement to put some of my winter clothes into proper storage. I scrubbed one of my three disgusting bathrooms. I made a mental list of all the things I was going to do on Sunday evening.

Then... I looked at my watch and realized it was 4:00, and I had to shower and dress for a First Communion Party for our neighbors twin boys. Of course, the party started at 4:00! So I started to scramble to get ready and realized my back was really hurting! I thought a nice warm shower might loosen things up. It didn't. Anyway... when I started to blow dry my hair, I happened to look down on my counter (in my master bath... the disgusting one I DIDN'T clean), and I saw a bottle of Naprosyn. I turned the hair dryer off and stared at the bottle in horror. First of all, my allergies are really bothering me right now. Second of all, Friday evening, I couldn't breath so I went into the bathroom (around 2 a.m.) to get two Benadryl. I decided NOT to turn the light on, because I didn't want to disturb my DH, so I reached into the medicine cabinet (where I KNEW the Benadryl was), pulled out the bottle, and took two. Now, it starts to dawn on me with horror that it wasn't Benadryl that I took... it was 2 Naprosyn (my DH had taken some the day before and had put that bottle back in the wrong place). That was FREAK OUT number one.

So I finished getting ready, and grabbed the boy's cards and gift cards, and ran out to go to the party. Without DH. He was at a meeting and coming later.

And then... FREAK OUT number two happened. I fell. I rolled my ankle on the uneven cement on my driveway because I was too busy looking for on coming cars before I crossed the street to my neighbor's house. Thankfully, I fell on my left knee, and then on the right, and then onto my hands. My neighbor's 10 year old daughter saw me (she was on her way across the street too), and came to my rescue. I just wanted her to disappear and forget she ever saw me fall. But nooooo... she had to be helpful! (She's a great kid) ...

So I picked myself up, tried hard not to cry, and bravely walked across the street and into a full swing party. Everyone (but me, of course) had a cold beer, or a nice glass of wine. I had a coke. That's real soothing! At this point, my knee is throbbing, my hands are burning, by back feels broken, and I just want to go home. But I'm too polite. I tough it out. For three hours. That's when my husband showed up. And all he wanted to do was eat. EAT! For the love of God! I just fell!!! Hello! Pay attention to ME! --- NOPE --- shrimp cocktail had a stronger pull on him. However ... I must say that after his third plate of food, he was very attentive to me. We ended up leaving around 9:00 p.m., when they pulled the whisky and tequila out, and the party was just starting to get into full swing.

I was pooped, I tell you! Pooped, cramping, and my back hurt. But it doesn't end there. We went to church on Sunday, and then DH rushed me to Toys R Us and the grocery store because I had a baby shower to go to at 2:30. We got home around 2:00, and I rushed to prepare the food I was taking. Then, I ran upstairs to bag the gift, and freshen up. This is when FREAK OUT number THREE occurred. I went to the bathroom, wiped, and was spotting and passed a clot. I just stared at the paper and thought... Lord... is this a piece of my child I'm looking at? And FREAK OUT is exactly what I did. I ran downstairs in my underwear (we have open walls of windows everywhere) and called the on-call doctor. She told me to get into bed and rest and drink a lot of cold water, and call her Monday morning for a re-eval. And I did just that. I made my DH wait on me hand and foot, and I shuddered each time I went to the bathroom. I didn't want to wipe! And after all that running around, I didn't get to go to the shower. But my nice neighbor sent home some cake and cheesecake with my husband. I love my neighborhood!

The next day, Monday, I saw my doctor (I just love him to pieces), and he assured me that the baby was fine... well padded and cushioned, in fact! We heard the heart beat, he saw blood and mucus around my cervix, he looked at the fine specimen I took in to him (Sunday's clot), and sent me off on my own way with a stern warning not to do anything strenuous (because after all, I'm OLD and pregnant... not just pregnant), and to get my 20 week sono through a Parinatologist instead of in their own offices. He said I only passed some puddled blood from my over-exertion on Saturday.

After being lectured by my DH, mom, MIL, and dear friends, I settled back into bed for the remainder of the day, and took it easy.

Today, all is well again. No cramping, no back ache, and only a few scratches on my left knee. Life is good again. And.... I'm back at work, and my boss is actually asking me to do something for him right now.

Doesn't he know I'm trying to update my blog, for crying out loud?!?